The following are poems I wrote when I was pregnant. I lost the baby at 11 weeks, which I also wrote about and will post in a later update. But in the meantime, here’s what I wrote when I still had my little spark of life and hope.
The cold of winter holds my heart
Though spring is close at hand,
In fear that rips my world apart
Though hope is in command.
A tiny seed of hope has come
And I have no control
To make it grow or come undone
But let it feed my soul
Whatever happens next I know
The tiny hope is mine
To hold when winter comes and goes
And thus I trust you, blind.
Life explodes in green
From buds and blossoms growing
Out of tiny seeds
Taking over where death was
And shaming barren gardens.
My Furious Spark
It’s out of you whence flows my joy and fear
In equal measure. Life is made of this.
I’m seized with fear and gripped with joy in turn
To know that you are mine and very near.
Your heartbeat next to mine is like a kiss;
Your stirring sets my soul to steady burn.
I feel the weight of days ahead with you–
They’re filled with sunlight, midnights, cold and dark
Where sorrow, yes, and grace will both abound.
But wonder is prevailing, worlds made new
In light of fear and joy. You are my spark
Within and all around.